May 10, 2013
So, I failed the pre-hiring exam yesterday. It wasn’t a very good feeling. I am upset and disappointed at myself and I haven’t stopped praying because of it. I realized I haven’t been praying this much, and a thought just occurred to me. Is this the reason why I missed the passing mark by one question? I did so well in Part I and failed Part II by ONE question. No, it’s not easy to admit that I didn’t get the job because I failed the pre-hiring exam by one question, so why? Couldn’t God have found a way to give me that one question so I can finally work? Because God only knows how desperate I am for a job already so why?
“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains.” I am hurting. Was this His way to catch my attention? If it is, then what happened yesterday was not a loss. If I just take the moment to step back and breathe and detach myself of the self-pitying, “woe is me” mindset, I can see that I have been on my knees praying more in the past 24 hours (sincerely opening up my heart about my disappointments and pains) than I have been for the past 2-3 weeks. So, was this His way of tugging at my hand and pulling me back at His side? I believe it was. Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”
I’ve been through this before. I can get through this disappointment once again. I failed. I cried. I was hurt. I prayed. He pulled me up. I dust myself off and start again with Him by my side. Then I conquer and He blesses me with far more than what I could’ve asked for (Psalm 23:5). Jesus Christ is the same as yesterday and today and forever (Hebrews 13:8), and He knows the plans He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11). My God is not a liar (Titus 1:2) but a promise keeper (1 Kings 8:56). And He has promised me victory as long as I have faith (1 John 5:4).
Let not my will, but Yours be done.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. – Hebrews 13:8
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. – Psalm 23:5
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thought of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11
In hope of eternal life which God, who cannot lie, promised before time began, – Titus 1:2
“Blessed be the Lord, who has given rest to His people Israel, according to all that He promised. There has not failed one word of all His good promise, which He promised through His servant Moses. – 1 Kings 8:56
For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith. – 1 John 5:4
All Scripture is from NKJV.
I don’t want to ever doubt You. I can’t promise that there wont ever be a time that I wont. I have learned that I am in no place to make such promises or any promises, in fact. However, I do trust and believe in You. When the time comes that I do start to doubt, I pray that you please strengthen my faith. I pray that You please continue to be the Rock that I stand on when I, myself, feel like crumbling and falling.